


The Goofball

by cersedshadow



Series: 12 days of Lance [10]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aliens, But he has a good reason!, Friendship, Gen, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lancemas 2019, Poisoning, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23395009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cersedshadow/pseuds/cersedshadow
Summary: Day 10: The GoofballApparently his team were just as deprived of games of charades in their childhood as they were of chinese whispers because the message didn’t seem to be getting across. Lance was going to have to force them into some family fun time after this. For the sake of the universe.Lance knew he was a bit of a goof at times but he had never let that stop him doing his job. He just sometimes wished his team would notice that. Luckily for them, Lance is a great improviser.
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron)
Series: 12 days of Lance [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612639
Comments: 7
Kudos: 166
Collections: Voltron Stars🌌





	The Goofball

**Author's Note:**

> This lockdown has completely screwed with my perception of time. I have no idea what day of the week it is anymore. I hope you're all safe and staying indoors. I'm getting near the end of this series now, just two more left. Honestly, I hated this one when writing it but looking back it gave me a giggle so hopefully it can do the same for you. Enjoy some Lance shenanigans.

The grand party was in full swing but Lance was already bored. It turned out everyone in the Ferex-Ze system had the same collective stick up their ass. The pompous fools hadn’t even heard of dancing and insisted that music was for the less cultured. Preferring poetry reading instead for light dinner entertainment. Which, normally, Lance wouldn’t be too bothered by. Each to their own and all that. He had seen enough alien cultures by now to know not to comment. It was just so boorrrrring. Not to mention the poetry was just awful, really _really_ awful. Each verse after another singing empty uninspired praises to the respective Kings and Queens of the five ruling families. It was the biggest, most mind-numbing show of ass kissing Lance had ever seen.

Instead of merriment the party consisted of the five clans very carefully trying to avoid one another. Making jibes at the others expense when they did cross paths. Dinner hadn’t eve been served yet and Lance had heard more savagely polite compliments and passive aggressive metaphors than he had at every one of his family gatherings combined. He never thought he would find someone more scathingly proper than his Aunt Josie but the universe really was infinite.

Lance kept a smile plastered on his face, cheeks hurting. In the time he had made it round the room he had been, politely mind you, insulted about his looks, his breeding, his skin colour, his fighting abilities, his conversational abilities and the way he walked. Worse of all their hosts has also insulted Blue and Voltron just as many times. Never mind that had they not just freed this sector from the Galra Empire the ruling families would still be oppressed and the people being treated as slave labour. A situation they had got themselves into by bargaining with the Galra in the first place!

However, in the face of their returned power all that was forgotten. The ruling families were gods once more and Voltron nothing more than a collection of upstart peasants that needed reminding of their place. Lance very much hoped Allura wasn’t planning on talking these guys into the coalition. He could practically feel the knife they would be sure to backstab them with at the first opportune moment. Until the party was over he would just have to grin and bear it, literally.

Lance glanced superstitiously around the room, looking for his fellow Paladins. Shiro and Allura were tag teaming a couple of the Kings, smiles looking as plastic and Lance’s felt. So at least that was something. Misery loved company after all. Pidge had disappeared into the thin air and Lance wouldn’t be surprised if she had escaped despite Allura’s orders. Probably for the best, the Green Paladin wasn’t known for holding their tongue and was known to be rather aggressive at times. 

Speaking of aggressive, Keith seemed to be haunting one corner and refusing to move. Glaring at anyone that dared to come close. From the gossiping and sneering going on around him his usual tactic wasn’t endearing him to their hosts any. Wonderful.

Hunk was being set upon by a group of ladies and looked to be sweating. Awkward chuckles spilling from his lips. Lance drew closer and couldn’t help frowning slightly. He knew those chuckles, those chuckles meant Hunk was being made fun off but was laughing along with the bullies rather than standing up to them. To uncomfortable to start a confrontation. The boy really was too soft for his own good sometimes. Yet he had no trouble scolding Lance for pinching the last of the cookies, go figure. Still, he was in desperate need of a rescue and Lance wasn’t one to leave a bro hanging.

Lance took a breath and waded in. Inserting himself into the circle, smile stretched to aching point. ‘Ladies, so sorry to interrupt. Blue Paladin Lance, at your service.’

‘Ahh, yes, the Blue one’ twittered what seemed to be the ringleader. ‘So wonderful it is to see you. Are you enjoying the ball? You really must listen to the readings of the Ravistof. I’m sure you’ve never heard anything like it in your life.’

Ah, a vague insult into his lack of culture, and right of the bat too. Lovely. ‘They were a delight to listen to. I’m sorry I did not get your name fine madam?’ continued Lance, slowly nudging Hunk out of the circle. Urging him to take the chance to escape while he could.

‘Well, you rather forgot to ask. Never mind, I’m sure you’ve been conversing with any number of people today. It must all get so confusing. . My name is Madam Tyrix Leseli, second lady of the Lesel house. I sincerely hope you might have reason to remember it. ’ The Madam kept her tone light and smile gentle, but Lance had seen through the same mask with any number of other ladies already and could read perfectly well between the lines. Insult to his manners, vague insinuation about associating with unwanted sorts, aimed at the other houses no doubt and a jab at his intelligence, just to round it all out. This Lesel house might just be the most vicious of the lot. No wonder Hunk was sweating.

Lance put on his most awed simpering face, feeling the strain. Even his best acting skills could only go so far, and his patience was stretching to breaking point. Two vargas of this and they hadn’t even started dinner yet! ‘My pleasure Madam Leselie. I could never forget the name of such a beauty. The Lesel house must be truly lucky to have such an heir as you.’ How many times had he spewed the same line today already? Lance couldn’t remember.

Madam Leselie sniffed, looking down at him like a puppy who had just done an amusing trick. ‘My, aren’t you charming. I am pleased to make your acquaintance Blue Paladin. I do so hope you continue to enjoy your time with us. It would be terrible were it to be cut short.’ Lance blinked at her, keeping his eyes bright and attentive. ‘The Lesel house and the others have all suffered so much recently. It would be a shame if we could not give you the reward you brave warriors deserved.’

Madam Leselie smiled, looking directly at Lance for the first time and he felt something pull tight in his stomach. A tingle in his fingertips that spoke of danger. Why would the Madam go from insulting him one second to praising them the next? The rest of the houses had not been all too subtle in asking about compensation that the coalition might afford them for the Galra occupation. Acting like Voltron was responsible for restabilising their wealth in the wake of the Empire’s plundering. Like they were a charitable insurance company instead of the greatest weapon in the universe. Not once had they expressed direct thankfulness for Voltron having freed them.

There was the chiming of a bell and people began to gather. Heading for the long tables that had been set up and decorated for the dinner. Voltron was to be seated just below that of the tables of the ruling families. A high honour, Lance had come to learn, for such boorish people as mere warriors. Below them would be the lesser members of the five houses, then the lower houses and then any other retainers in attendance. The Madam Leselie smiled at him one more time before drifting away with her entourage.

Lance paused for a moment before moving. Trying to assuage the feeling of wrongness that suddenly permeated him. The Madam had only smiled at him and thanked him and his team for their efforts. Perhaps she simply was an affable person, at least by Ferex-Ze standards. Honest enough to realise the favours Voltron had done for them.

Still troubled by the prickly feeling of dread still dancing over his skin, Lance headed for his seat. Sitting himself opposite Hunk and next to Keith as dictated. Pidge materialised and the rest of Voltron made themselves comfortable, Allura at their head with Shiro on her right.

As expected the actual act of diner was to be as long and tedious as the initial reception. Allura had briefed them on it earlier, Lance in utter disbelief that a species could make eating a single meal so complicated. As far as Lance understood it the dishes would first be offered to the ruling families in order of their seating, which denoted their current power. Then the dishes would be moved onwards to the rest of the congregation. It was a system that often left those seated low with little to no food but was a tradition of the highest order.

This type of ball was held only twice a year normally and was of great cultural importance to the ruling families. Displaying who had the most power and who was allied with who at the time. The heads of the families would also offer food and drink as gifts to those of other families and individuals as a show of faith and favour. Apparently, wars had been started over such gifts so turning them down or disparaging them was not to be done lightly. The fact that Voltron was even being involved at all, never mind given such a high seating, was meant to be a show of extreme gratitude. Considering the attitude of everyone he had been unlucky enough to converse with Lance wasn’t buying it.

The hall fell into a hush as the first and finest dishes were presented, all eyes on the head table to see if any gifts were to be given. The top family selected several small tributes and handed them out to the second ruling family and a few of their own. Those who received them being sure to show the proper thanks in the form of a deep bow, much to the envious looks of others. The dishes continued down the line, coming in a long procession. Lance tried his best not to fidget and instead slowly let his gaze wonder about the room. The feeling of wrongness had not left him and it left him anxious and twitchy. Lances eyes came to rest briefly on the Madam Tyrexi Leselie, just as she reached over to daintily fiddle with her glass. 

It was far away but Lance had trained his eyes for sniping in the chaos of battle. Little escaped him when focused. He could pick out the slightest twitch of a Galra troop towards his teammates from hundreds of meters away. So watching the fine dust spill into the glass from Madam Liselie’s finely decorated nails was no problem. It glinted briefly in the air, like dust motes in a spotlight.

Lance blinked, confused. Why would the Madam place anything in her own cup? Was it medication of some sort? Something she needed to conceal? Lance didn’t know but before he could ponder deeper the first of the dishes made its way to the table. Allura had already received a few little titbits, small gifts of gratitude laced with empty sentiment but received with the proper respect. Now she quickly selected some dishes and let them passed on. When it got to Lance he just went for what looked the safest, having previously watch Hunk hum and haa over it all. The Yellow Paladin had a much better eye for these things than he did.

Just as he was about to dig in another tribute was delivered to Allura. Lance stopped his fork halfway to his mouth, eyes caught on the glass of fine amber liquid as it was presented to the Princess. 

‘In thanks for your efforts. From Madam Tyrexi Leselie of the House Lesel’ the server dutifully said. . Allura looked up to the head table, Lance’s eyes following her to where the Madam was smiling down at them beatifically.

Allura stood to bow properly, ‘My greatest thanks to the Madam for her tribute. Voltron is honoured with her sentiments.’ Allura spoke passionately as she always did, being sure to encompass the whole team with her greeting. Lance wasn’t paying attention, instead focused on the Madam. On the empty space where a sparkling glass should rest. To the one now sat in front of Allura.

Lances mind stalled before re-starting, suddenly racing. He didn’t know what was going on, he could be completely wrong, it could be a different glass, he could have been mistaken in the first place, the head table being far away.

Worst of all though, he could be right. Which would mean Allura was in danger. Which meant he had to save her.

‘Allura’ he tried to whisper softly. He knew this was a breach in etiquette. The Paladins had been instructed harshly to remain silent unless accepting a tribute. To talk during the meal being one of the worst offensives. Conversation was seen as rude to the deference of the hosts. ‘Allura’ he repeated, a little louder.

Hunk looked up at him, eyes tight and gave him a kick under the table. A sure sign telling him to shut up. Keith also shot him a glare, fiddling with stuff on his plate. Lance ignored him, looking to Hunk and trying to implore with his eyes that he needed help. He got a very blank look in return. 

‘Allura!’ he tried even louder. Finally getting her attention but also that of the rest of the table and a few others. Why did she have to be seated the furthest away from him!? Allura herself looked up with a frown and shot him a poisonous glare before pointedly looking around. No doubt trying to subtly remind him of here they were. Shiro looked uncomfortable from where he was sat beside her in the face of such umbrage. .

Lance started sweating. There was no way he was going to be able to tell her about the drink from where he was. Not without shouting. Getting up, however, would be an even greater breach in etiquette than talking. Desperately he looked to Pidge. ‘Psst, Pidge.’

She made a purposeful move to turn her head away ever so slightly. Obviously trying to ignore him. Lance felt like tearing his eyes out. Why did his team have to be so difficult sometimes! Luckily Allura was still eating right now but she would soon have to consume the drink. Not doing so would be the height of insult to the Madam. The only reason she hadn’t drunk it immediately was because she still hadn’t finished her previous tributes.

‘Pidge!’ hissed Lance, desperate. Pidge also resorted to kicking him in the shin. Hunk was almost full on glaring at him now. A sure sign that he was getting worried.

Allura was reaching for the glass. Quiznack he needed to do something! Almost on instinct, born from any number of sibling food fights, Lance grabbed his spoon, something small and orange from his plate, and launched his chosen projectile towards the head of the table. It wacked Allura smack between her eyebrows. If looks could kill Lance would be dead seven times over from the heat of the Princesses glare but most importantly his antics had briefly distracted her from drinking.

The others were all staring at him now to with mixed looks of anger and disbelief. Hunk was sinking into his chair, no doubt anxious about the storm of vitriol that was coming Lances way. Allura opened her mouth as if to speak but then clicked it closed, looking around her. Lance tried to subtly mime that the drink was no good. Apparently though his team were just as deprived of games of charades in their childhood as they were of chinese whispers because the message didn’t seem to be getting across. Lance was going to have to force them into some family fun time after this. For the sake of the universe.

Allura sent him one last look and went to drink again. Lance smacked her with another orange thing. Then another just to be safe, this time trying to aim for the drink itself. Shiro slammed his hand down on the table, looking at him like a disappointed dad. His own Papa got the same look on his face just before he sent his youngest to sulk in his room. Pidge and Keith stared wide eyes; sure he had gone mad. Lance tried to mime again about the drink to no use, Shiro miming back that he was to stop his nonsense right now. Allura looked like a volcano waiting to go.

Lances eyes slid upwards to Madam Leselie. Catching the furious from on her face as she watched him and the drink with eagle eyes. The look was enough to make Lance sure that something was wrong. That he hadn’t been mistaken. Lance needed to stop Allura having that drink. No matter what.

Well, never let it be said that Lance McClain didn’t know how to be a disruptive little shit at a dinner party. His Mama would be the first to tell you.

Lance wacked his own dink with his weaponised spoon. Sending the whole glass of mysterious blue stuff tipping over Pidge. Getting a screech in response. The sound was large enough to draw the attention of their portion of the room.

‘Oh whoops! Clumsy, clumsy me! So sorry everyone. Let me just try and clean that up for you’ he cried out, only worsening the situation. In anger Allura slammed down her glass much to Lance relief and half stood like she was going to come down there and box his ears herself. Still, that wouldn’t be enough. He needed to get the whole of Voltron out of here. Who knew if Madam Leselie was working alone?. If Lance let them stay she could attempt another assassination at any time.

Pidge tried to bat him away but Lance grabbed some napkins and started trying to clean her off. Purposefully taking advantage of ticklish spots as he prevented the pale servers from taking over. Pidge was _extremely_ ticklish, as Lance full well knew, and it didn’t take much to get her laughing.

‘No Lance, stop it you ass. I said, sto-stop. I-it tic-hah, sto-op I can cle-e-en it myself!’ she screeched, short legs kicking out and smacking into the table hard. Sending it juddering. Lance reached over as if to stabilise it and instead let his hand clench around the decorative cloth it was draped in. Pulling as he purposefully tipped his chair over Pidge

‘Ahh! Ouch! Oh, whoops’ he said blithely as the dishes came crashing to the floor. Pidge screeched again as Lance crushed her. As the Green Paladin scrambled to untangle themselves Lance stuck out on long leg and hooked it around Keith’s chair, who had leaned forward to look at the escalating mess. One hard yank and the Red Paladin was going down. Grabbing at the table too to try and stay seated, pulling even more decorations to the floor. Unsurprisingly this elicited a lot of cursing.

By now practically the whole ball was focused on Voltrons on going disaster. The head families looking on with no small amount of alarm. Having never seen such a spectacle before. Lance scrambled to his feet, effecting a wane smile and tottered his way forward towards the head of the table. Waving off the servers fluttering around like distressed flies.

‘Sorry about that everyone. Little bit of a gaph on my part. So grateful to be here. In fact, since you have been so kind as to share you culture with us we should do the same. A toast to our hosts!’ Lance declared, inspiration suddenly coming to him as he swept by Allura. The Princess was so furious as to be rendered speechless, face an unhealthy colour of puce. Cheek marks pulsating. Lance tried not to cringe back, if Allura was angry enough that her magic was spiking that was never a good sign. He’d be lucky if he didn’t need a pod after she was done with him.

Lance plucked the drink and its swirling amber contents from the table, keeping his head turning so as to address the room but watching all the while watching Madam Leselie. Her fingers were gripped tight as claws around the table, face a picture of rage, but eyes still firmly fixed on the glass. He raised it up.

‘To our hosts and to Ferex-Ze!’ delighted Lance, twirling around and spilling most of the drink to the ground and over his hand. He really hoped what had been put in the glass wasn’t a contact poison. Keeping his smile stretched wide he continued to shout before anyone could react. ‘To the ruling families. To their brave and heroic retreat in the face of danger and gallant surrender of wealth and knowledge to the Galra empire. Surely their actions were just and wise, to result in them sitting before us today.’

Hunk was practically chocking on his anxiety, trying to climb under the table. Pidge got to her feat, staring at him like he had lost his mind. Lance looked directly to the high table, where the head arses of the top ruling family sat agape. Lance made sure to catch his eye before sliding to his right and looking directly as his similarly startled wide eyed wife. When he was sure he had both of their attention he sent her a saucy wink. Eyebrows dancing with innuendo. The reaction was instantaneous.

The head of the family rose, heaving his enormous weight to his feet. Eyes bulging and spittle flying as he pointed one trembling finger ‘Out! Taken them out! They are not welcome here. Never have I been so insulted!’

Allura quickly turned, strained smile, ready to plead on their behalf. ‘Oh please, your eminence. This is all just a misunderstanding. The Blue Paladin was merely taken aback…’

‘Taken aback by your gorgeous wife’ interrupted Lance with a flourish. Taking his life into his hands as he flung his arm over Allura’s shoulder. ‘I have to say your eminence you have wonderful taste. What say you beautiful? Think I could activate your particle barrier?’ Lance was gratified to see a blush staining the women’s face, eyes lowered demurely. He knew that was a good line.

The eminence turned ashen with rage and let out a screech high enough to shake the chandeliers. Heaving himself around the table as if to throw himself at the Blue Paladin. Though he was hindered by his enormous backside. The servers twittered around him like harried birds.

‘How dare you! Out, out! Voltron is not welcome here! You uncultured beasts. Know your place you peasant. Cheap worrier trash. Get them out!’

Lance continued to smile and joke as the whole of Voltron was quickly rounded up and escorted out of the ball room post haste. The venomous glares of the rest of the congregation following behind. Just before the doors slammed shut Lance made sure to look towards Madam Leselie, finding her simmering with rage. Struck mute and powerless to stop them from leaving. Lance felt a flash of triumph; quickly turning to dread as the closing of the doors had Allura and the team rounding on him.

Lance decided to play stupid, blinking wide eyes. ‘What?’

‘You-you-you, arrrggggg’ screamed Allura, effecting as if to strangle him and causing Lance to jump back. In honest fear for his life. The princess was heaving, breath laboured as she tried to calm herself down. Eyes blazing. Eventually she stomped her feet, screamed once more into the night and started marching towards the castle. Posture a rigid line of rage. That just left the rest of the team to deal with.

Shiro was giving him his biggest most disappointed dad look, arms crossed, mouth pinched. Pidge looked pissed, still covered in the mystery blue drink. They soon stomped off after the princess, muttering about revenge all the while. Hunk shot him one confused harried look, glanced at Shiro and promptly abandoned him to his fate.

‘Nice going cargo pilot’ was all Keith said, practically spitting the words before he followed behind. Lance flinched slightly, opening his mouth to defend himself, but Shiro tired exasperated silenced him. Lance looked, down, shuffling his feet in shame. So maybe getting them thrown out of the party was the best plan. It was the only one he could think of at the time! It was their fault for not listening to him

There was a deep silence, Shiro’s breathing meticulously steady as he tried to remain calm. Eventually Lance looked up, ready to explain. Shiro held up a hand, silencing before he could even begin, pinching the bridge of his nose with the other.

‘I’m not even going to ask what that was about Lance. We haven’t had a diplomatic disaster like this in a while and it is entirely and solely down to you. What you were thinking I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. This cannot be how we behave as Paladins of Voltron. I thought we had moved past all this, this…’ her Shiro waved his hand, basically gesturing to all of him, ‘…drama. Voltron cannot afford to make enemies. You’re lucky this ended in us being kicked out and not anything more serious.’

‘Shiro, I just…’

‘No Lance, I don’t care. Just…just get back to the ship. We’ll deal with the fall out later.’ Having said his piece Shiro sent him one last disappointed look, more tired now than angry. Making Lance feel all three inches tall, before leaving. Lance stayed behind for a moment, telling himself he was in the right. That he wasn’t going to cry. When he was sure no tears were going to fall Lance headed off to the castle. Dragging his feet behind him.

Walking inside the whole castle felt oppressive. The air chocked with unsaid feelings and lingering rage. Lance walked slowly through the dark corridors, finding Coran on the control deck.

‘My boy’ he said softly upon seeing him. Someone must have said something to the older Altean, his usual vigour subdued. Giving Lance a soft questioning look. Lance flinched and looked away, biting his bottom lip.

‘Hay Coran’ he rasped; throat suddenly chocked.

‘I heard there was something of a…palaver at the celebration.’

‘Yeah…yeah you could say that. Look I really don’t want to talk about it, I was just hoping you could do me a favour.’

‘If you want me to talk to the Princess I really think…’

‘It’s not that’ said Lance, cutting Coran off. Something he rarely did. ‘I was hoping you could have a look at this? Run it through the scanners. See what’s in it’ he said, handing over the glass he still held in his hand. There was about a centimetre of the golden liquid left in it.

Coran gave him a searching look. Lance stared back, not knowing what to say. Feeling tired and exhausted and wrung out. Pleading with his eyes for the man to just do him this one favour. To _trust_ him. The Altean took the glass, giving it a swirl.

‘Of course, my boy’ he said warmly, ‘I’ll be sure to have a look at it. For now, though I think you should head to bed.’

‘Yeah, okay. Bed sounds…good. See you in the morning Coran.’

‘Good night my boy.’

Lance gave Coran a slight smile and left the control deck. However, instead of going to bed his feet took him to the observation deck. Lance curled up in front on the window. Eyes unseeing. Not a few seconds later the castle hummed to life, lifting off. Leaving Ferex-Ze far behind. Coran settled them in a neighbouring galaxy. Lance watched the stars. Feeling empty, he decided he could explain everything in the morning.

Lance woke with a crick in his neck and a killer bruise on his hip from falling asleep on the step of the observation deck. After gathering his wits about him and remembering everything that happened yesterday he briefly entertained the idea of throwing himself out the airlock. Instead he smoothed his clothes and combed his hair the best he could and went to face the music.

Entering the kitchen Lance was surprised to find Allura the only one present. Lance paused in the doorway, wondering if should leave the Princess alone but it was already too late. Allura had seen him and judging by the furrow in her brow and the pursing of her lips she was still understandably mad.

Lance sighed but entered the kitchen anyway, grabbing some goo from the machine. He sat down, keeping several seats between himself and the princess, slowly chocking down his breakfast in the stifling silence. The hanging threat of the Princess wrath rather ruining his appetite. Mercifully Coran wondered in a few moments later. Humming to himself as he flicked through one of the orange data tablets.

‘Oh, Lance my boy. Glad to see you are up. I have here back the results of that drink you asked me to analyse. Nasty stuff I’m afraid. Where did you even find such a thing?’

Lance got up quickly, abandoning his goo, and hovered over the tablet. Though it made very little sense to him. So there was something in it?’

‘Oh yes, mostly it was a very wonderful fermented vintage, but it had been contaminated with a fairly concentrated dose of grazuk root.’

‘Grazuk root!’ exclaimed Allura, looking towards the other Altean in alarm. Coran nodded to her gravely.

‘Indeed. I had thought the stuff had gone extinct, but it appears not. I made sure to dispose of the whole thing safely just in case. Luckily it has no effect unless consumed.’

‘Wait, what’s grazuk root. Is it harmful?’ asked Lance, giving up on understanding the tablet and handing it back. Allura took it from him instead and started studying it, to much more success.

‘Terribly dangerous’ continued Coran, ‘especially to species with high quintessence like Alteans. It causes all the quintessence within your body to enter a rather volatile state before eventually exploding. Leading to a rather messy death for the poisoned anyone close by. Not to mention the agony it causes beforehand. Back in the day it was classified as a Delta-6 substance and banned on practically every planet.’

‘Quiznak Coran! I got some of that stuff on my hand yesterday and haven’t washed yet’ exclaimed Lance, holding his hand in front of him like it would turn around and eat him. The two Alteans heads snapped to look at him. Their own wide eyes not giving him any comfort.

‘Quick you must get to the decontamination chamber! Hurry now! Did it get anywhere else?’ Coran took him by the shoulder and hurried him out of the room. Allura following behind, heels clicking down the corridor.

‘There might be some on my clothes’ Lance replied. Glad he was wearing his formal Altean wear and not his normal clothes. He really didn’t want to have to give up his jacket.

‘I’ll deal with them. Just change into a suit when you done.’ Coran pushed Lance non to gently into the decontamination chamber. Fingers tapping away at the initiation sequence. Allura hovered outside, biting her lip. Mind spinning.

‘Wait! Lance, explain this to me. Where did you find this grazuk root?’

‘It was in the drink at the party. The one Madam Leselie gave you. I saw her add something to it.’

‘So, at the party, all that nonscience you made…’

‘I was trying to tell you but you kept shushing me! I couldn’t think of anything else!’

‘Enough. Talk about it later. I’m going to start the decontamination now. I’m afraid I’m going to have to put it on full cycle so I suggest you find something to hold on to, my boy and take a deep breath. Or you might just suffocate’ explain Coran with his normal enthusiasm. Slamming the door behind Lance and setting the cycle to start before he even had time to adjust. Desperately Lance scrabbled around, finding a metal strut on the wall to hang on to. Just before the gravity was lost and green gas was blasted in his face. Lance got the feeling that a full decontamination cycle was designed to hurt.

Lance was right. By the time the cycle finished thirty or so dobashes later he was bruised and scraped raw. Inside and out. He chucked away his completely ruined clothes and changed into a pod suit Coran had thoughtfully left behind. Trudging his way back to the upper decks. His teeth tingled and his mouth tasted like porridge for some reason. The green stuff had also stained his skin somewhat. Lance sighed at himself in the mirror, feeling wrung out and exhausted, and it was still only breakfast! He headed back to the kitchen, finding it empty, and took some time over a fresh bowl of goo. That done he got to wondering where everyone else was and slowly wondered down to the control deck.

Within, Allura was busy at work looking at star charts. No doubt figuring out Voltrons next plan. She was quick to put it all away though when she noticed Lance hovering in the door way.

‘Lance! Glad to see you are alright. I feared Coran might have been a bit enthusiastic with the decontamination procedures. Considering how frail you humans are.’

Lance laughed a bit and slumped his way to the Blue Paladins chair. Falling in a graceless pile onto the seat. ‘Yeah well, I made it. Though not without a few bruises. That dry cycle really got to me.’

‘I was actually hoping we might talk.’ She looked shy and contrite, something Lance had never seen on the princess before. ‘About what you said earlier. I would like to hear the full explanation about last night.’

‘Heh, you not mad at me anymore then?’

‘Well, that rather depends on what you have to say. I am willing to listen though. But you better have a very good reason for what happened. Or you will not like the consequences.’

Lance gulped, more than knowing exactly how hard Allura could make his life on the castle. ‘Err, right, noted. I really am sorry about last night. If I could have done something different I would have. I just couldn’t think of anything at the time.’

Allura sighs, ruffling her own hair in agitation before grabbing her own seat. Swivelling it to face Lance directly. Lance tried a smile and got a thin twitch of the lips in return. ‘Just tell me what happened from the beginning Lance.’

‘Right, well, I had been talking to Madam Leselie just before we got called for dinner and…I don’t know. Something she said or the way she looked at me just rubbed me the wrong way, I guess. So after we were seated I was kind of keeping an eye on her. And I noticed her sprinkle something in one of her empty glasses. It seemed weird at the time but I didn’t think much of it cause…well, it was her glass. She could put what she liked in it. Besides, it was far enough away that I wasn’t sure if I had seen correctly.’

‘You have the best eyes of anyone in the castle Lance’ Allura broke in gently. Already sounding tired but a lot more forgiving.

Lance felt a small swell at the compliment but continued with the story. Not wanting to get distracted. ‘Well, like I said I didn’t think anything of it, but then she gave you that drink as tribute and I noticed the glass beside her was missing. I wasn’t entirely sure it was the same glass but…something about the way she looked at you. The amount of attention she was giving it. I just…had a bad feeling. I tried getting your attention to tell you but…’

‘We shushed you like a misbehaving child’ finished Allura, looking contrite.

‘Well, yeah. I tried getting Pidge to pass along a message but she ignored me to. I don’t think she wanted to get in trouble. Especially since she had managed to avoid everything so far. But then I saw you pick up the glass and had to do something. Only you weren’t paying attention.’

‘So you decided to chuck your dinner at me and when that didn’t work to just cause such a mess of everything we would have to leave’ finished Allura, deadbeat.

‘Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid. But ii worked! In my defence I was playing to my strengths’ said Lance passionately.

Allura sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose just as Shiro had done yesterday. Eventually she leaned forward and took Lance’s hand in her own. Giving it a squeeze. Lance stared, a faint blush gracing his cheeks. Allura rarely touched him first.

‘Thank you, Lance. For saving my life. There is no known cure for gruzak root and it is 100% deadly to Alteans. Even in minuet doses. I’m sure that without you my days would now be numbered. I’m sorry for shouting at you yesterday and not giving you a chance to explain.’

‘It’s alright Princess. I was purposefully making a nuisance of myself. I just didn’t want to risk them giving you another tribute if the first failed. Better I make a joke of myself than you get hurt.’ Lance said, trying to smile back, laughing hollowly.

Allura frowned before suddenly standing and coming to kneel in front of him. Tilting his head up to look at her directly. ‘Listen to me Lance. Yes, your methods were unorthodox. But you _saved my life_. It’s my fault for not listening to you in the first place that you had to resort to such methods.’ Allura bit her lip, looking down in shame before glancing back up. Eyes strong and honest as they locked with his.

‘I know, months ago, when Voltron first started that I might have scolded you when you goofed off or told jokes, but I know better now. I know that you take this seriously. That you’re always looking out for us. I should know better than to dismiss you like that because I assumed you were being silly. You’re a Paladin of Voltron, chosen by the Blue lion and a valuable member of this team. None of us should doubt that, least of all you. So…so don’t go calling yourself a nothing more than a joke. Cause that goofball attitude of yours just saved my life.’

Lance blinked, taken aback by the sudden praise and vehement defence of his character. He was self-aware enough to realise that Allura and the others weren’t always enthused by his antics. The ways he tried to make this whole ‘Defenders Of The Universe’ gig a bit more enjoyable. A bit more manageable. A bit more like home. Lance hadn’t realised they knew what he was doing. That they understood it was his own way of coping with the life and responsibility they had been saddled with.

‘Th-Thanks Princess.’

Allura smiled at him, eyes warm. She knew a simple apology probably wasn’t enough to get Lance back to his effervescent self but she could work on that. Her guilt and gratitude demanded it. ‘And don’t worry. I’ll explain everything to the others. So they don’t keep giving you a hard time.’

‘Ahh, yeah. That would be good. Shiro was…really disappointed in me last night.’

‘Well, I’ll talk to him. Get it all sorted out. If this incident has taught us anything it’s that we need better systems of communication. We never know when something like this might pop up again. Hopefully then something like your performance last night won’t be needed.’

Lance smiled, a cocky grin starting to curl across his face. ‘Awww, Princess, are you saying you didn’t like my little play? I thought I did rather well. The toast was a work of genius!’

‘Don’t push it Lance’ Allura said, effecting a serious face, but Lance could see the mirth in her eyes. The heavy furrow smoothed from her brow. Lance smiled, goofball or not he knew how to defend his family.


End file.
